If Tommy Cooper was alive today?

I met this bloke with a didgeridoo and he was playing Dancing Queen on it. I thought, "That's Aboriginal."



This lorry full of tortoises collided with a van full of terrapins. It was a turtle disaster.



I told my girlfriend I had a job in a bowling alley. She said "Tenpin?" I said, "No, permanent."



I was at a Garden Centre and I asked for something herby. They gave me a Volkswagen with no driver.



I went to the local video shop and I said "Can I borrow Batman Forever?" He said, "No, you'll have to bring it back tomorrow"



Batman came up to me and he hit me over the head with a vase and he went T'PAU! I said "Don't you mean KAPOW?? He said "No, I've got china in my hand."



I bought some Armageddon cheese today, and it said on the packet. 'Best Before End'



I went to buy a watch, and the man in the shop said "Analogue" I said "no just a watch"

If Tommy Cooper was alive today?
Tommy Cooper

Morcombe and Wise

Mike and Bernie Winters



Steptoe and Son

Rising Damp

Sunday Night at the London Paladium



I miss them all.
Reply:Very good , i was watching Tommy on stage when he died,he would appreciate all of those.Keep the jokes coming Just like that !
Reply:lol....excellent
Reply:Congrats. You certainly did it, "just like that"

Keep them coming!
Reply:He was a comic classic,,,good one liners ha ha ,,,