Is it a joke or physical abuse?

Things have been tense between the two of us for over 2 years. There is no open communication, no matter how much I tried and in spite of counselling. He refuses to talk and comes up with excuses. He has been trying his passive-agressive tricks on me.Today we went to the garden centre and as I opened the door to come out of the car my husband decided that I pushed it too hard and left a dent on the car beside. Honestly, I did not feel pushing the door again the car. Anyway, the next second I felt his leg landed on my bum while he was saying "jesus, look what you've done". It was not sore, but I was in shock as it felt like abuse. He kept on blaming me for damaging the car and giving out as he had to move the car into a different spot then. When he came back he still did not get it that he hurt me and kept being hostile. What the hell was that? is that emotional abuse becoming physical? He apologised only after I demanded it and said I would leave him if he does not stop this behavior.

Is it a joke or physical abuse?
I say seperation is best. Or divorce if you truly have tried everything and anything and it doesn't work.
Reply:your husband sounds like he cares about everything else but you. I'd leave his ***. Only then maybe he will straiten up. good luck to you.....
Reply:Your husband is a classic abuser; he will get much worse over time and you out yourself in real danger by ignoring this and being in denial. There is NOTHING "passive" abiout kicking you in the butt over ANYTHING. He is a control freak and dangerous and if you stay, you will be hurt again, definitely. Your staying gives consent to him to continue and escalate his abuse...he wants to see how much you'll take and so far you show him you will take a great deal. Threats about leaving him mean nothing; you're still with him, right? If you were serious, you wouldn't warn him, you'd take action and just do it.

There is also verbal abuse, and you have tolerated that for the past two years; now he has taken the next step in the pattern and you have been warned. Decide now whether you want to live in fear and danger or get out while you still can and find real love that you deserve.
Reply:Cry abuse! Not all inappropriate behavior is abuse. Get over it. maybe it was a goof and you emotionally abused him playing your over sensitive crap.
Reply:Yes it is emotional, no it is not becoming physical, it has already crossed that line. That's how it works. It starts with thing abuse, throwing something, hitting a wall etc. Moves on to verbal, and finally to physical. By the time it gets to physical most women are not able to get out. My parents kidnapped me. I was fortunate, I got out. That's certainly not the norm. Most stay until their partner kills them. Run, do not walk, away from him in whatever way you have to. Unfortunately love is not enough to keep a marriage together or prevent abuse. It WILL not get better. It will get worse. Please, get out. You can easily die in this situation. If not physically, then emotionally and spiritually. It's not your fault at all. You can't make him hit you, and he started with his foot! This is about a selfish, hateful, insecure dangerous man. Get away from him and get some professional help to find out why you chose him, and why you have chosen to stay after the very first painful episode, whether that be emotional, mental, or physical. Without help, I kept picking out the same man over and over, just in different bodies and packaging. I so wish you luck. If you can, let me know how you are.



Blessed Be, and may you find Peace
Reply:If he was hostile when he did it, it was NOT a JOKE. Thats abuse. Be careful
Reply:This is abuse. He assumed you did it on purpose and therefore he struck out. A Joke? No not a joke, but the man is Paranoid,and it takes very little to set these guys off. I suggest you get out now, while you still can. Good Luck.
Reply:It was not a joke because he was genuinely mad. At the same time it's not like he hurt you physically. But it was like he was testing it out. He obviously has problems and if he is not willing to figure them out maybe you should get rid of him.
Reply:Red flags here, honey!

Don't ignore them and don't let them grow, either...
Reply:It's a common sign of beginning abuse. Emotional or physical, they all start small and can, in some cases, lead to death by murder or suicide.
Reply:That is cruel and abusive behavior.

If he's refused counseling in the past and is now starting to kick you- get out NOW. These situations always get worse- never better.
Reply:Yes, he sounds like a bullying type....but you married him for some reason.
Reply:Yes i do think this is a type of abuse . You do not get kicked by your husband and let it go. I consider any touch that is un wanted is abuse.
Reply:Sounds like he has no interest in making things work.

My wife and I do not get into arguments where we have to threaten to leave one another. Your either in this together, or you find one of many others out there willing to treat you like you deserve.
Reply:You know... It my have actually not be physicall abuse this time... It sounds like you two need to just break it off, or at least seperate and find yourselves for a while. This situation sounds like there was a lot of tension before, and whatever made him decided that you bumped the car to hard caused him to start a scene that didn't need to happen. I don't think that this was actually meant (or really was) physical abuse, buy what you say it more sounds like he wasn't intending for him to run into you, more that the inspecting of the car caused him to do as such ( I could allways be wrong though). Either way, I think that you guys in the long run would probably be better off splitting ways... It sounds from what you say that the situation is not going to be fixable...
Reply:AND....??
Reply:Dump the S.O.B.

It sounds like he might get worse.