He needs to be told straight...so i told him?

My partner is annoyed with me because yesterday his son who's 34 came here like really early in the morning and sat here all day whining, flicking through the channels on the TV, smoking my ciggies, helping himself to my food, feet on my table and whines coz he's got no job and no money, my partner has his own place 10 yards across the garden, but is here most of the time, i am tired of his son coming here whinging and moaning all the time, he should be looking for a job, i have kept my mouth shut for way too long, so yesterday i snapped and i told him that this is not a drop in centre for the stupid, i told him to leave my ciggies alone, and told him to stay out of my fridge, he's using my home as a bloody doss house, so when i had a go at him yesterday my partner got the hump, for crying out loud, HE' S 34 and should have a job instead of sponging off us all the time, am i right for being p*ssed off, coz it seems that right now i am the bad person, i wont be taken for a mug

He needs to be told straight...so i told him?
you most def should not feel like it is your fault, 99% of people who were in your situation would more than likely do the same thing, you should not have to put up with that and its your home he's in your entitled to your own opinion in your own home. if he is 34 he should be looking for a job not sitting down whining that he has'nt got 1, he will never get 1 like that, he's more than likely attention seeking, if i were you i wouldnt allow him to come in untill he found himself a job, but thats not what some poeple would tell you, as for your partner he should try and see it from your point of veiw explain to him would he like it if someone was doing it to him then he should come around to the ides that your right for what you have said, hope this helps. good luck xx
Reply:I think you did the right thing. Get rid of him and reconsider your relationship with his father, too. It all sounds very unsatisfactory.
Reply:You do have have a right to be p*ssed off but this is your partners child, no matter how old he is, he will always be your partners child and you attacked his child therefore you attacked him. I know we all have a breaking point but there are ways of saying things, especially to your partners child. He obviously feels comfortable at your house so that's why hes there most of the time. I can see your partners side too because if anyone has a go at my kids i see red.' Go talk to your partner explain it to him in a calm way, although you might have to apologise before he will listen. Good luck
Reply:it was rather normal that you snapped at him cause well you are angry and its hard to control anger, but your husband also has the right to feel hurt for what you said to his son, i mean its wrong that he is a free loader but it is also wrong that you shout at him and treat him as if he was not human at all, my point is there is a better way to talk to him and tell him of the things that you see are wrong and not call someone stupid cause that would not make him realize his mistakes, it could just get him infuriated but not really seeing the point, because you are older and more mature cause obviously he is not you can talk to each other when you are no longer mad, cause believe me shouting would get you nowhere but chaos, you can talk to him in a peaceful manner, for all you know that person is suffering from depression and rather feels left alone and that somehow he need someone to be a mother figure to him, be open minded, its normal for you to get mad, but it would give you nothing more if you just stop at it.
Reply:Don't you feel sorry at all babe, if there were more people like you there wouldn't be so many bums, dossers and low life's on the streets, bravo. Someone had to tell him, rather someone close than a stranger, by 34 he should already be where he should be, not as you so rightly say sponging off you.
Reply:What a happy family!:)))))....Seriously, I don't see a bright future together ahead for you and your partner...
Reply:Some people just do take advantage,No,you were right full marks if he had offered to replace then sure perhaps but,Nothing you did right.
Reply:you did the right thing...its your house your the one who has earnt the privilidge of living there the other guy has nop right to do that. your partner shouldnt be annoyed at you instead he needs to recognise its your rights to kick someone outta your house. i understand why you'd be annoyed.
Reply:Yes it seems you are correct. A 34 year old should first respect someone else's house whether it's his fathers partner or not. Second he needs a job, third every time he picks up one of your ciggarettes then tell him no as if he were a dog the same when he is in your fridge or his feet are on the table or whatever. Consistancy is the key. He is acting like a child so treat him like one. Take your feet off the table please, these are my cigarrettes please buy your own. There's a McDonald's down the street, your dads house is across the street etc..... keep it up. You do not have to get all stressed and yell just keep telling him no.
Reply:i think you are absolutely spot on, if your question had been one of these, my partners son does this what should i do about it, i would have said to do exactly what you said. has this guy got no pride? at that age if he is 34 what the ell is going on, and how has your partner let this go on, what principles did he bring his son up with? good luck, i hope he gets his lazy *** off your sofa and onto a desk.
Reply:you had the right to tell him. you should have told him a lot sooner.you worked for what you have so why let a bumb take it.some people just wont face up to what their child has done with their life. this son choose to do nothing.your partner is annoyed now but he will get over it if not.you dont want to put up with baby boy everyday.you might have to tell your partner you will split if things dont change.34 needs to go-go-go-.let him buy his own cig, food,and get his darn feet off your coffee table.he can get a job and have money if dad gives him a little push and quit baby him. good luck.
Reply:Sounds like an issue between your partner and his son. Talk to your partner about it, quietly and calmly. Try to work out a way to encourage the son to actually do something productive with his life. I don't think your partner has been able to do that on his own, but with your support and some time, maybe you both can help the son to improve himself.





You are right to be Peed off tho. You are being taken advantage of, and I'm pretty sure you are one who can say enough is enough when the time comes (if it comes). But give the boy the benefit of the doubt, and give him a chance to prove himself. It might work out even better that you imagined
Reply:Too bloody right! You tell him, you're in a relationship with his father not him! If he wants to doss out somewhere instead of getting a job then he's a lazy good for nothing so and so. I'm surprised you kept it in this long. Don't be taken for a fool, you're not a mug, you're an independant woman who doesn't need some jerk of a man hanging around your place instead of getting of his backside and moving!!!!


People like that make me soo angry! You stand up for your house, your space and your relationship! Just tell your partner the way it is calmly and immediately!
Reply:why did you never start with the soft force?


there is more here than you are telling us
Reply:Yes I would agree with u, u can only keep quiet for so long. Good 4 u!!
Reply:F*** ur partner! Kick his son's *** and throw him out of ur house. 34 male no job what a shameless son of a *****. You made the right decision
Reply:you have every right to be mad and say something.... your partners son needs to grow up!!


your partner should understand how you feel and stick by your side.
Reply:I applaud you.Sometimes you need to let folks know if they are getting to you.This lad sounds like he needed a kick in the pants to wake him up.My husband, (after years of trying to get his mother to phone before calling to visit and lots of other stuff) finally snapped.Sure, there has been tears and upset, but we need to be serious sometimes.If you let yourself become a doormat, then that's what people will use you as.You did the right thing in my opinion, well done.
Reply:oh bloody hell too much to read at this time





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