I feel very uncomfortable being the centre of attention, I don't like fuss, and I'm not happy in big groups of people. If I really had my way I'd just want to slip off quietly and get married somewhere alone, just the 2 of us. My fiance is ok with this, as long as we have a big 'do' back home to celebrate with family and friends.
I really don't want to let him down as I know this a day for BOTH of us! However, at the same time I don't want to have to organise a big party/reception when it's my idea of hell! As a compromise I've suggested having 2 or 3 smaller dos at our house (maybe garden parties), but he says it would be just as much hassle to arrange (and I think maybe he's right).
Any advice greatly appreciated!
Wedding compromises?!!?
One party is better than 3 parties.
Have a family a close friends only reception. If you only invite the people that you really care about, it wil not only save you money, it will save you stress and headaches.
You can plan a intimate wedding for a group of 25-50 people.
If you like the idea of eloping, you may do that, go to Hawaii or the Bahamas, get married there and then have a reception, or a house warming party, or a homecoming party ... (see.. no wedding reception label, therefore, no dress, no centerpieces, no invitations to worry about). And keep it casual. A garden bbq or a cake and toast reception would do just fine. If you want a meal, have your favorite restaurant cater it.
See??/ It's not that bad.
Congrats.
Reply:Hire a wedding planner and have them make all the decisions. Just give them the colors and decoration theme that you want and let them run with it.
Reply:Tell him to arrange the party
Reply:Take immediate family and slip off quietly - you can always just organise a big party for afterwards. It is yours and your fiance's day after all.
Reply:Is this for you and your partner, or for other people.
Why don't you two slip away quietly and if anyone wants to hold a party for you when you get back then let them
.
Reply:Elope, and then organize a "reception" (i.e., a party) at your place - or maybe a friend could volunteer host it for you. It is much less stressful organizing a party if the ceremony is not a part of it. Just have a fun informal get-together, grill some food, have some beer, and spend time with your friends. This is what I would do.
(We had a backyard BBQ a week after our ceremony in lieu of a reception. It was a lot of fun, and not stressful at all, even though usually neither myself or my husband are very social.)
Reply:Do you have a mom who doesn't want to take over and plan a whole wedding? Most of us were in the opposite boat trying to get our mom's off our back so we could plan the wedding the way we wanted. Let your mom or his mom or both plan the wedding. Alternatively, you could hire a planner. Good luck, it's nice that you're doing this for your honey.
Reply:If he wants it, make him plan it.
Reply:a wedding only takes four people, who says you have to have any fuss. Have your ceremony and then slip off for a huge enjoyable honeymoon. You are better spending the money on this than accommodating other people as a result of your special experience.
Reply:I'm exactly the same way! That's why I got married in Jamaica. We did have a party when we got back. But without all of the wedding stuff. Just a nice brunch w/ friends %26amp; family.
Reply:Hire a party planner. Let them do everything. then just show up.
Reply:i got married 10 weeks ago and we were both really nervous about the big day. all the attention we didn't really want and it did take alot of organising. i especially didn't want to be the centre of attention i even stressed that people would think i was over dressed for the day.
but we had the best time ever the moment i said i do the stress just melted away. and we had the perfect day. i even hate having my photo done (really hate) but even they turned out to be perfect. and it was all over way too fast so all the stress and worry and the day went in a flash.
but when all said and done this is about you and your day and you have to do what makes you comfortable
i always wanted a big wedding so i am glad we did it that way. i wish you all the luck for your wedding whatever you do for your special day.
Reply:Why dont you have a small wedding (of 100 or so ppl). Get a wedding planner, this will lessen the hassles of the wedding. Get friends, your mom and soon to be mother-in-law to help. Remember this is one of the most important days of your life. Maybe it would help if the two of you brain-stormed about ideas that would fit both of your preferences.
Reply:i`m getting married in September this year, the family are helping financially but also taken on a lot of decisions and to be honest i feel its their wedding and not ours!
Reply:Do the one big one. It would be nice just to get it done. It doesnt have to be that hard if all you want to do is get some snackies and drinks out and set up tables thats all you have to do!
Reply:If I was you I would book a holiday and wedding package and have your wedding on your own, somewhere beautiful and special when you won't feel nervous. The have one big do when you get home and make it an evening thing starting at 7.30 with a lovely buffet and a wedding cake, when he can make a speech etc. Try and make the party in a hotel so someone else is organising the food, the music, flowers etc.Then all you should have to do is turn up in your frock. Book a room at the hotel and if you need mid breaks you can go and change, go to freshen up whatever.
Reply:My daughter is very similar to you - she does not like being the center of attention at all. She has already decided that when she gets married she will either elope or have a small wedding.
Whatever way you get married, it will be a special day for you %26amp; your husband - focus on that and not the "event".
Reply:So get a wedding coordinator to do it for you and let them make all the decisions since you don't really care anyway.
Reply:I regretted have the big party when we really just wanted to marry in the Carribean. You should do exactly want you want and you 2 can agree on, and don't worry about other's expectations!
Reply:I'm getting married in Nov. Me and my fiance are going to Jamaica with 2 friends as witnesses--That it. He is just like you--doesnt like to be the center of attention. So we decided to marry away and have a small get together when we get back. This I think would be perfect for you. Have a small get together at home--nothing crazy. Buy some drinks, snacks and ak a couple ppl to bring a dish of something ---That's it with no stress.
Reply:As for the parties,why do you have to organise them? If your partner soon to be hubby wants a party ,let him organise it. Be there at the door as people arrive, make sure you have your trusted buddies around you who can rescue you if it gets intense. To be honest at these dos most people don't notice the bride and groom after the first dance. Good luck and don't get stressed
Reply:Well, here's your first grown-up married lesson in compromise. You're right; it's not all about you! Many men like to have big receptions and weddings. I think the small ceremony %26amp; big party is a very fair compromise!
If planning the reception has you breaking into a cold sweat, hire a wedding planner. Ask around among your circle of friends and family for recommendations. If nothing there, call some bridal shops around your area, they usually know and/or work with some. Be sure to ask for references from any planners before hiring them.
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